So every morning, I make my husband get dressed, and brave all kinds of weather conditions to get to Dunkin' Donuts, and bring me my tea.
Now, don't even get me started with how I take my tea. It's tea. There are only so many things you can put in tea before it becomes a concoction with a hint of tea. I like mine with sugar. REGULAR sugar. When I purchased my first iced tea (that's right, I purchased it, on my own), they put in a lemon slice. I know, lemon is good for you, and trust me, I know lemon can go on just about any food and make it GREAT (like potatoes).
HOWEVER, contrary to popular belief, those super clean workers who value cleanliness at the cleanest dunkin' donuts ever, do NOT always use tongs to pick up the lemon wedge. Sometimes? It's fingers. Without gloves. G-R-O-S-S. So, when I get lemon, I must truck it inside and ask for a new tea altogether, stating that I have a lemon allergy. Lies. It's all lies. But what else do I say? "Hi, I didn't actually see you utilize tongs when lifting this unwanted lemon into my cup, and I'm afraid of TB, so please replace my tasty drink." They wouldn't even understand any part of that. I shouldn't waste my ingeniousness on these people. They have things to do; like use tongs.
So. Rule #1. No lemon.
Next we have cream/milk. Unlike an iced coffee, you should not add cream or milk to your iced tea. As a matter of fact, they don't even ask you if you'd like it. Even the workers know that there is something about tea, being cold, and adding dairy, that doesn't flow. Don't embarass yourself.
Rule #2. No dairy.
Lastly, we have the sugar. I bet you didn't know that there are many sugary options. Sure you have splenda, sweet and low, cancer-sweet, clog-my-artery bits, but did you know that you can get liquid sugar? It's like a sugar that dissolves right into your drink. No mixing, no adding, and definitely no sucking grains off the bottom with your straw. Liquid sugar has ended all of our fun. While convenient for some people, liquid sugar makes your tea taste completely different. If you drink a margarita on the rocks versus a frozen margarita, you are going to get drunk faster. Same with liquid sugar. And, frankly, I always want to feel like shit as quickly as possible on Monday mornings. Not only does it ruin the straw-sucking fun AND give you an insane sugar rush, it also tastes like dump. It completely works against the tea and makes it taste like you are licking a sugary sidewalk. Think of how stupid you would look licking the sidewalk, sugary or not. That is how stupid you would be for ordering your tea with liquid sugar.
Rule #3. Regular sugar only.
In conclusion, please do not take my personal preferences to be your own. Just know that if you have lemon in your tea, I won't get too close to you. I will assume you also went for the liquid sugar, which is essentially like being on liquid crack. That's not the company I like to keep.
Please drink responsibly.
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